Category Archives: Trump

Worldview: The word which has empowered propaganda machines of the left and right

Worldview (n.) – a comprehensive conception or apprehension of the world especially from a specific standpoint. (Merriam-Webster Dictionary)

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Nothing truer than this.

Worldview is everything in political belief, whether or not we wish to admit it. What dictates beliefs from an ideological standpoint varies widely from person to person. The extremes of both sides of the ideological aisles often fail to see, or choose to be blind to, this fact. What is more bothersome is that many of the things which we hold as truths, as Obi-Wan Kenobi once observed with such eloquence, depends entirely on our point of view or, to use a more modern vernacular, our worldview.

This definitely affects how news and information is approached and received. The notion of “fake news” is not a new concept; President Theodore Roosevelt spoke of reporters who infiltrated sweatshops in America’s Northeast and Midwest in the late 1800’s and early 1900’s as “muckrakers.” To him, many of these reporters were simply attempting to sensationalize the conditions, such as those described in Upton Sinclair’s The Jungle, in an attempt to advance an agenda. Granted, this was largely the case and did achieve historic changes which led to modern health and safety rules in the workplace, but Roosevelt and, more to the point, industrialists directly affected by the changes caused by said articles, regarded these journalists as self-serving do-gooders whose publishers where more concerned about selling newspapers than actually looking out for the national interest. It is very familiar song.

While the journalists of that time were unjustly regarded as parasites, today’s media has created much of its own perception issues, but those problems have also been exacerbated by the proliferation of the sources which cater to one particular worldview. Websites such as RedState, Huffington Post, NewsMax, and Mother Jones were all established with one purpose – activist journalism, which takes legitimate information and manipulates it to advance an agenda, be it conservative or liberal. These websites have become popular, and even trusted, because traditional legacy sources such as network news and periodicals such as Time, Newsweek and USA Today lost sight of their primary mission – to inform the public. Instead, traditional information sources have focused more on the viewpoints of individual writers and “anchors” to “sell the story,” rather than letting the story sell itself.

A great example would be to compare the Trump Administration to the Nixon Administration in terms of media coverage. Today’s media is focused on “pouncing;” attacking what the President does with Twitter, or what his underlings say in press conferences, and picking it apart. The media of the Nixon era was more concerned with receiving information as it was disseminated, analyzing it, and finding inconsistencies. While it was not entirely investigative journalism, the reporters of Nixon’s day focused more on the facts and allowed that administration to create its own worst nightmare; impeachable offenses revealed through a combination of individual hubris and collective administration incompetence. For the Nixon White House, the gaffes of ego committed by the cabal led by both Nixon himself and advisors, such G. Gordon Liddy, did more damage to that President than any newspaper editorial ever could. For Trump’s Administration, the media now appears to be willing patsies in a war of misinformation and blatant ego inflation. Rather than reporting on inconsistencies and obvious conflicts of interests, the media’s obsession with the President’s twitter feed and what his children do in their off hours appears to be stuff of political and editorial vendettas, as opposed to the work of truth-seeking reporters.

During operation Desert Storm in 1992, the late Gen. Norman Schwarzkopf pulled one of the great distraction moves in modern warfare. He sent coalition forces to the Kuwait border in such numbers to keep the late Saddam Hussein’s forces occupied and obsessed with stopping a direct invasion and then, in a bold move, launched a massive offensive to west of Kuwait, destroying the Iraqi Army’s rear lines. Much of Trump’s campaign and administration’s public relations moves appear to be the same; focus media and public attention away from the more pressing issues of the day by using marketing buzzwords and research to distract the public and media, then working to do things his way without public scrutiny. This sort of distraction is a classic tactic in business – use distraction in negotiations to focus attention on one hot-button issue in order to gain larger concessions on broader matters, and his most vocal, rabid supporters are defending him at every single turn, no matter how questionable his statements on these matters. A good question is why are these voters buying into it, but a better question is how is Trump pulling it off?

The answer is simple; Trump is playing to the fears of his base’s worldview.

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Former Fox host Glenn Beck, who became famous for his conspiracy chalkboards, started his conservative talk career at WFLA-AM in Tampa in 1998.

Many Trump voters share a similar, if not identical, worldview; a collective group of nations, largely Muslim, which seek to destroy the United States by any means necessary. While several of these nations exist, most lack the will or ability to strike even indirectly. In addition, they feel that corporate America is part of a globalist cabal which seeks to destroy the American-Western way of life. Some of these worldviews also put white Anglo-Saxon protestants (so called “WASPs”) at the top of the world pyramid of authority. Others espouse the worldview that Western culture is far superior to any others on Earth – former radio host and libertarian standard-bearer Neal Boortz once famously admitted he was not a racist but a “culturalist,” stating he did believe that Western civilization was superior to all others on Earth and must retain its eminence, and TheBlaze founder Glenn Beck was pulled from Fox News when even the heads of the largely conservative-oriented news network got the jitters over Beck’s increasingly conspiratorial claims on his own short-lived TV program.

While these worldviews are often based in personal experience, they can also be based in a facade of nationalism designed to profit from the fears and emotions of those who seek validation of their beliefs and views. It is these individuals, such as conspiracy theorist and radio host Alex Jones and Breitbart head/Trump advisor Scott Bannon, who are the greatest purveyors of convincing misinformation. In Bannon’s case, a reasonable individual can deduce one reason for his practices – packaging propaganda in a veneer of factual data to present in such a way that it’s accepted because it matches the accepted views of those who voted for Trump in the first place and, therefore, emboldens the President to behave in a manner which is to the advantage of both Bannon and those of his ilk.

To many, the media is not reliable because it was the media itself who bought into the notion of not only informing the public, but influencing it to act in accordance with a narrative. Individuals such as CNN’s Anderson Cooper and Nancy Grace, MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow and Chris Matthews, and even Fox News’ newest crop of hosts are not journalists in the true sense of the world, but commentators using the facts given by genuine reporters to advance an agenda. This is reminiscent of another individual who has used legitimate reporting as a means to advance an agenda – The 700 Club’s Pat Robertson. The controversial conservative minister’s Christian Broadcasting Network, though a reasonably ethical operation on its own, allows its facts to be manipulated for Robertson’s own purposes, mainly fundraising. For this reason, CBN suffers from a heavy dose of “guilt by association,” and is regarded as a less-than-credible outlet for information.

Another example of worldview issues could be found on the other end of the spectrum, BBC News. For years, Britain’s government-owned network was regarded as a go-to source for information from around the world, with strong ethics and a high standard of quality and accuracy. As time went on, BBC’s own anchors became more and more focused on news which portrayed the United States in a less-than-flattering way and, for that reason, aided far-right media types in a campaign to paint the mainstream media as liberal elitists. Unfortunately, this image was only entrenched further when a scandal broke within the BBC’s ranks exposing editorial bias being encouraged and dissent being quashed by network bosses. Those with a worldview of journalists being nosy crusaders only concerned with their career found their views confirmed, and this only served to undermine the media and enhance the position of ideologically-oriented websites which take legitimate information and spin it to suit their needs.

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MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow, known for her fiery ultra-left views, is considered part of why the network’s ratings continue to languish far behind CNN and Fox News.

So how can we separate the good from the bad, the reliable from the speculative. Critical thinking comes into play here. If something doesn’t an instinctual “smell test,” chances are it is either false or manipulated. Stories about Trump which seem too crazy to be truth tend to be so, just as stories about former President Obama also lean that way. Both sides have websites which focus on fomenting resistance though inflammatory news articles, and both are extremely adept at pointing fingers at the other side while denying stories which they themselves plant. One way to determine the veracity of story is to know the backgrounds of the writers. When one sees the words “activists,” or “political expert” or “left” or “right” in their bio, it is a fairly safe bet that writer has the interests of their cause, not the reader, at heart.

While some ideologically oriented websites have quality informational articles, double checking the information though other mainstream sources is always advised. If even a sliver of the information is accurate, it could point to a much greater situation. Nevertheless, worldview contributes to how we view news, whether we want to admit it or not.

Calling the rest of the year, one blunder at a time

We are just past the halfway point for the year, and life just gets more and more interesting. Not only did Sumter County, Georgia see America’s first-ever successful use of a “prevent” defense to win an election, but the nation was rocked by a little known Supreme Court ruling which essentially stated Taylor Swift can, indeed, date British actors and we can’t do jack about it (next breakup song will likely feature references to “Spotted Dick.”). As always, I am here to offer my insights and half hearted predictions for the remainder of the year. These are strictly for entertainment and lobotomizing purposes only.

– Great Britain agrees to return to the Euro only after the nations of Europe agree to rename themselves “Westeros.”

– Tampa and Miami declare war on each other over who is the rightful heir to the title of Cuban sandwich capital. Miami surrenders when it realizes that few people there actually KNOW what a Cuban sandwich is MADE from.

– An earthquake devastates the Botox clinic where Kim Kardashian goes. Strangely, no other businesses or structures for a million miles in any direction report damage. Kanye West denies involvement and says Mother Nature hates him.

– Hillary Clinton, having secured the nomination for speaker for all people everywhere, is denied the Democratic nomination when party “superdelegates” are sent gift baskets from an “anonymous benefactor” with lifetime supply coupons from Ben and Jerrys.

– Cleveland is a raucous scene when the NBA grants the Cavaliers “all time champion rights” for three years. Also, the GOP convention takes places there too, supposedly.

– conspiracy theorists around the world are thrown into a quandary when not only is the existence of “Planet X” confirmed, but NASA admits it contains high quantities of PU-234, an element needed for the US Air Forces trillion dollar project, the Explosive Space Modulator.

– In a grand act of defiance, the People’s Republic of China will declare pizza to be Chinese food along with a wonton soup embargo. This will send Lethal Weapon reboot futures plummeting.

– Some nation will announce it has developed nuclear weapons but nobody will care because their national defense system will consist of irate aviaries being flung using a rubber band slingshot. Pork futures will break and tumble on the news.

Election 2016: Crazy is coming. Wait, it’s already here?

The Presidential election nominees are appearing to be clearer and clearer by the day, with Bernie Sanders (#FeeltheBernanywayyoucan) and Hillary Clinton (#HillBilly2016) down to the wire on the Democratic side, and Donald Trump (#FUImTrump) appearing to have locked down the Republican Party nomination by virtue of having turned everyone human being on earth, including Ted Cruz, against Ted Cruz.  Outsider John Kasich also conceded, the result of a bizarre particle acceleration phenomenon where Kasich finally, after three weeks of being mathematically eliminated realized (spoiler alert) he was mathematically eliminated.  These events, however, pale in comparison to one of the most hotly contested races in all of America.

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They actually ALL look like they just ate at Krystal to be honest.

I am referring, of course, to the showdown in my college town of Americus, Georgia, where the Sumter County Sheriff’s Election is in its finally, bloody, one-tin-soldier-rides-away week of campaigning.  The judgment day cometh, and it appears that nothing sort of a “May Surprise,” such as a giant space dragon eating the sun or some really lousy Dining Hall food at Georgia Southwestern State University, will make the outcome predictable.

The reason this particular election is considered crucial to this neck of the Peach State is that Americus holds the dubious distinction of having the one of the highest rates of violent crime among small towns in not just Georgia, but America in general.  Fingers have been pointing everywhere, from the Sheriff’s Office, to the City Police, to the City Council, to the Board of County Commissioners, to Professor X’s Office, and even the local Krystal until everyone realized the only crime that joint was guilty of was putting a trillion tons of onions on all its burgers – which could be Homeland Security threat when you consider the chemical output.   Still, the crime wave which has gripped this college town (yes, I said it, it’s a – GASP, don’t tell the County Commission – college town) has residents wondering if Americus can save itself.

The better question appears to be, can voters stop arguing with each other over who is the better candidate for Sheriff long enough to actually vote?  Practically speaking, Pete Smith and Philip Daniel are both professionals.  Smith, the incumbent, has been portrayed by his supporters as kind, compassionate, no-nonsense and willing to get the job done but needing to stop being stonewalled and sandbagged by longtime power brokers.  His opponents argue he is nepotistic, crooked and about a half quart low, and that doesn’t count the cruisers some say are out of date.  Daniel, by comparison, is portrayed by his supporters as a breath of fresh air, tough on crime, objective, energetic, and new blood.  His opponents paint him as a patsy for power brokers in town, completely unsuitable for the job, and loose cannon.  The wild part:  they are both, in theory, Republicans.  Somehow I think the Democratic Party took one look at this race, stepped back slowly, and said to themselves “oh hell no!

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Thor for Sheriff. No?  President maybe?  Come on, could do worse!

Naturally, one would want to compare this election to other elections around the state or country, but can you really compare this one?  It stands on its merits in so many good ways, and just about all the wrong ways.  Worse still, reliable sources (some, miraculously, still relatively sane after this election cycle) state this particular election has split the city in half, with the fault lines fracturing friendships, families and even the occasional custody battle over pets.  Wait a second, this does sound a lot like the Presidential election.  Forget this paragraph, seriously.

So that brings up a great idea – let’s say for a moment that the three presidential contenders were actually running for the Sumter County Sheriff’s Office position and that Pete Smith and Philip Daniel didn’t even exist.  Here’s a breakdown of their likely campaign platform.

Bernie Sanders:  Legalize everything.  Make all services free, make college free, and tax the crap out of anyone buying pot or not getting government assistance.  By the way, don’t forget, feel the Bern!

Hillary Clinton:  She will provide solid leadership, strategic thinking, and truly visionary approaches to law enforcement.  Of course, that means she doesn’t have to be put under oath about anything happening in her life since 1992, and that especially includes that incident with throwing a lamp at her hubby after that tart Monica smoked a “cigar” in the Oval Office, if you get our drift.  Also, there’s this little pesky thing called Benghazi we’d like to forget.

Donald Trump:  He will make Americus Great Again!  How will he do this?  He will build a wall around all the bad parts of town, kick out anyone who causes trouble, and shout down anyone who disagrees with him.  He’ll also fire the County Commission, the entire Administration of Georgia Southwestern, and most of the State Government.  But he’s a great American, and will put his nose to the grindstone and help put Americus back on the map and make it great again.

Yes, folks, you have seen how much worse it can really get!  Commence heavy competitive drinking!

What if North Korea handled Trump’s press releases?

We now return to our regularly schedule humor, already in progress.

Republican presidential candidate Trump gestures and declares "You're fired!" at a rally in Manchester
You know he’s about to drop an F bomb…you just KNOW it!

Everyone knows that Donald Trump and Ted Cruz are now the presumed “Final Two” on the GOP end of the 2016 Presidential Campaign.  The New York billionaire and hairpiece extraordinaire has made verbal gaffe after verbal gaffe, and has inspired his followers to such a fervor that acts of violence appears to be committed in his name.  Still, it could be worse.

I have taken the liberty of posing the craziest “what if” scenario possible – what if the Trump campaign contracted the writing of their press releases to the Korea Central News Agency, the government press apparatus of North Korean leader Kim Jong Un (North Korean for “Fatboy Slim” – you better Praise Him Like You Do!).  With that in mind, and having read many of the North Korea government’s press releases, I believe I can now approximate a press release using “North Korean-style” journalistic and public relations techniques.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

March 30, 2016

HIS EXCELLENCY AND MOST EXHAUSTED AMERICAN HONORARY PATRIOT DONALD TRUMP DEMONSTRATES EXTRAORDINARY POWERS AGAINST ENEMIES

NEW YORK – Americans should take heed that their most powerful option for lasting peace through ultimate truth and attractiveness has begun to attack his enemies in a manner which will leave them listless and begging for extinguishing of their souls.  Eternal Eminence and Creator of True Wealth Donald Trump emerged to greet his followers today at a rally in New York.

According to Mr. Trump’s campaign, the Creator of True Wealth is sound in his beliefs, and is assured that his positions are based in both truth and the highest divine mandates.  Mr. Trump himself is reported to be in excellent health, superior strength, and agility akin to the most graceful animals who can run like the majestic gazelle.  Mr. Trump’s hair is reported to be in docile spirits and obeying his every command, as any legitimate appendage should to its master.

There are few experiences more exhilarating than witnessing the raw magnetism and power of Mr. Trump in action at his campaign rallies.  His supporters are devoted followers of our charismatic leader, whose victory is assured despite the vicious attacks by his enemies.  These individuals shall be dealt with in an appropriate, decisive, and most unpleasant manner once His Eminence has been elected as the President.  Mr. Trump has expressed a confidence in his campaign, his followers and the people of the nation that they shall recognize his greatness, his eminent manhood, and his charismatic charm, which has proven to be both divinely granted and inspired.

His Eminence assures us that he is a man of peace, and will work diligently to rid America of unbelievers, traitors, and undesirables.  His raw power is such that a simple look into his eyes will convince wrongdoers to cure the errors of their ways, traitors to end their own lives, and unbelievers to look to the heavens for the necessary inspiration to follow Mr. Trump to the vision he has bared for the nation.

Mr. Trump will continue his campaign up until the Republican National Convention in Cleveland, Ohio, where it is expected he will be easily named the nominee by unanimous vote.  Should that not happen, he is prepared to deploy all available options, including the decimated of his enemies and the entire City of Cleveland, though to decimate the city would be profound waste of ammunition.

We wish His Excellency an expedient nomination and election so we may begin the process of securing peace and harmony through appropriate application of diplomacy and force, as well the use of his mighty hair to cow opponents into submission.

Bonus points to anyone who got that Fatboy Slim reference, by the way.

The Madness of March, Trump, Hillary, and other houses

March Madness is in full swing, and we are fast approaching the “Big Dance” of the “Final Four” which will turn into the “Final Two,” which will turn into some megalomaniac wackjob occupying the White House for the next four years.  Oh, and some basketball tournament is going on in multiple locations causing massive amounts of gambling to occur.  Unconfirmed reports state this is stimulating the world economy through offshore accounts being lined with cash from people taking our fourth mortgages, selling off baby formula, and performing unspeakable acts of….

Did I digress again?  That fast?  Wow, I’m really in full blast mode today.  Anyhow, back to the Presidential campaign.

Republican presidential candidate Trump gestures and declares "You're fired!" at a rally in Manchester
He’s making America great again for taking on-stage, mid performance dumps!

For those of you who haven’t been paying attention, Marco Rubio suspended his campaign for President after being hammered by Supreme Potentate and Leader Donald “I OWN Snoke” Trump.  In classic Trump fashion, he promptly purchased space on Florida Governor Rick Scott’s head and had “Let’s Make America Great Again” tattooed there.  Sorry, he didn’t!  I mean that.  Everything I just said was satirical fabrication intended to make you laugh.  Please, tell Donald to call off the lawyers, goons and “Trump Youth” squads dressed in New York Yankees colors.  Thank you (jerk).

 

Ted Cruz continues his push to keep Trump at bay, winning in key states including Texas, Oklahoma, Vulcan and an isolated corner of Cybertron.  He even managed to win the endorsement of former presidential hopeful Mitt Romney, so we expect Cruz to drop out of the race any second, citing “campaign funding issues.”  Also, John Kasich of Ohio defeated Trump in the Buckeye State, which should have been a clear example of “Home Field Advantage,” except that nobody outside of Ohio knows much about Kasich except that he’s a good speaker who is boring.   In a pivotal show of election gamesmanship, Trump quickly secured the endorsements of Captain America and Ironman.  He then announced he had purchased the State of Ohio, with the exception of greater Cleveland, citing a “potential for unacceptable business losses.”  Kasich continues to campaign against the New York billionaire, despite mathematical models showing the only way we could win would be if an asteroid were to strike a Trump rally with Trump actually there.

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Hillary’s graphic design team must have a very sick sense of humor.

On the Democrat side of things, Hillary Clinton (Maiden and Middle Name for Rent:  Contact Debbie Wasserman-Schultz for details!) continues to score victories in traditionally progressive “blue” states, despite the fact she one of her logos features a blue “H” with a red arrow pointing right (seriously)!  This, however, left her core supporters undeterred, with over five thousand former and current Wal-Mart executives going to the polls in Mexico to bribe voters to cross the border and cast ballots for Mrs. Clinton.  Husband and former President Bill Clinton offered to help his wife on the campaign trail, but Mrs. Clinton reportedly told him despite his best efforts, all the women he ever did allegedly have sexual relations with are not enough to derail the Trump bandwagon, let alone show up a one-half of one-perfect in vote totals.  Mr. Clinton is reported to be working actively on increasing his voter turnout, if you get our drift.

 

Despite this dizzying array of setbacks, Democratic Socialist Independent Green Party of Death candidate Bernie “Yes, that’s my name.  Don’t wear it out!” Sanders continues to stump for popular causes in traditionally ultra-progressive, marijuana infused states such as Washington, Oregon, Colorado, and parts of Tijuana which have sworn fealty to House Targaryen.  Of course, this means that Sansa can’t get it on with her love, and that House Lannister is ready to attack the north wall and Jon Snow’s direwolf is crapping all over the woods again, but the fact that I incorporated a Games of Thrones reference should indicate that Trump, not Sanders, can Make America Great Again!  To his credit, Sanders has admitted to being in favor of legalization of most drugs, including chocolate and cheese, and will outlaw all insurance plans in favor of a single payer, which means your healthcare savings accounts will become the property of the federal government, and all your money will be sent to Denmark to settle that damned meme, once and for all, so suck it, conservatives (their alleged words, not mine).

If that last paragraph wasn’t confusing enough, consider this brain buster.  It is entirely possible that the United States of America could have either its first woman president, or a president who is so reviled that Canada and the United States could literally flip population totals within a year.  Of course, this means our friends in the Great White North would have to deal with a few hundred million people bitching about how football is played on a one hundred yard field with four downs, not three, and that a “parliament” is not an effective form of government because it is full of officials who actually do this thing called “governing,” whatever the hell that is.

Finally, we would like to give a nod to the world of college basketball, and our fallen tributes including, but not limited to, Michigan and several other schools whose names escape us at the moment.  We are pleased you are tuning in these games, may the odds be ever in your favor, and we have confirmed that no mahogany tables have been stabbed in the writing of this blog!

A brief over/underview of the leading President candidates

As we are entering the trailing end of the presidential primaries, appears time to take a critical look at the major candidates platforms,  including all supposed rumors, speculation  and insider cigar insertion knowledge.   Enjoy!

 

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You can’t say that a woman who managed to piss off Russia, leave soldiers stranded to die in a firefight then cover it up by alleging no knowledge and somehow misplacing the emails, doesn’t have skills.  Wait, she doesn’t?  Never mind.

Hillary Rodham Katniss Everdeen Clinton, daughter of Joffrey Rodham, first of his name, protector of the realm:  Mrs. Clinton, styling herself as the first President able to have a “First Man,” stands for what all red blooded American women stand for.  Namely, the ability to wear brightly colored pantsuits which look like something off a futuristic totalitarian runway, but maybe that’s just me.  Clinton, the Democratic Party’s heir apparent to President Barack Obama, was dominating the party agenda until Debbie Wasserman Charles Schulz forgot the party’s name was Democratic, which led to Clinton’s time tested strategy of no discernible platform biting her when, from the primordial ooze of the Green Mountain State, the Wonder Twin powers activated and begot that which is…

 

Bernie Sanders.  Sanders, an independent commie pinko tree hugging Socialist from Vermont (French for “Cherry Garcia”), is campaigning on the populist platform of Free Ben & Jerry’s pints for all.  His other platform planks include a new car, free health care for raccoons, giving everyone a shot at winning American Idol, and the promise of using green energy to destroy our enemies by inflicting bouts of terminal laughter.  His campaign slogan, “Feel the Bern,” would be even catchier with the trendy hashtag, because then it doesn’t sound so absolutely creepy.  Naturally, this leads up to that All-American candidate who is as American as baseball, hot dogs, apple pie and xenophobic bigotry….

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This picture will be used until such time as it’s no longer funny.  Which means it’ll be used FOREVER!

Donald Trump.  I have devoted copious (Latin for “Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough”) amounts of space on this blog to the veneration of Dear Leader Eternal Light Force and Ultimate Master of Coin.  The New York (state motto “Lemme tell ya sumthin, pal!”) candidate, in his immense glory and dedication to the great cause has been an inspiration to…oh, that lawsuit was NOT aimed at me?  Okay then, read carefully:  Donald Trump is a dangerous, megalomaniacal egotist with hair appearing to be the byproduct of crossbreeding a Lhasa Apse with a deranged, rabid ferret.  Any lawyers skulking around?  No, then let us digress to the Lone Star State and its Exhaulted Immigrated Chumminess….

Ted Cruz.  His Canadianess and Texas Pride, Senator Cruz is in favor of everything Trump is against,  unless the Democrats are for it, in which case he is against it.  Also, he looks like a young version of Grandpa Munster, which means he needs to, should he win the nomination, offer the Veep card to Paul Ryan, so we can have the 50s throwback horror comedy ticket, the Munster Party.  Oh, and he wants to kill the terrorists and believes in God, which are critical qualifications for anyone who wants to be elected Mayor in Hazleton, Pennsylvania.   Alas, this is the election for President of the United States, and since Florida is, technically, still part of America (Pasco County still waiting to receive word on probationary readmission) and, sadly, planet Earth, we much recognize that who needs recognition on the basis that he is not well recognized outside of Miami-Dade County and Fox News….

Marco Rubio.  Where the Dems have “Feel the Bern,” the GOP has “Marco the Island.”  No, that is not a play on words reference to the uber-rich section of southwest Florida, but instead noting the fact that Marco Rubio is, indeed, a man alone on an island.  He’s having the worst turnout and poll results at this moment of any Florida candidate this side of Jeb Bush, and Bush at least at the decency to recognize his own delusion and drop out.  Rubio, however, is committed to a party ideology which includes flip-flopping on immigration reform, taxes, and the ability to build high-dollar stadiums for lousy baseball teams and flip the check to the taxpayers.  Rubio, however, is proving that he indeed is the eternal optimist, hanging in there despite the fact that, if he went up against a trained seal from Tallahassee who promised to end all entitlements and boot the poor to an island and nuke it, the seal would win.

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Even HE’S a better candidate!

We can only hope that America chooses a reliable, dependable, and empathetic candidate for the Oval Office.  Unfortunately, this crop makes me want to vote for any corrupt politician from any small town along the eastern seaboard instead of the current nominees because, come on, if you can’t trust a sleazy weasel from a small town to be a sleazy weasel with billions of dollars in federal largess at their disposal, who can you trust?