A new player in the political game

Now that the 2016 Presidential Election campaign is beginning to heat up, a new player has emerged in the world of political activism.  Focused on returning politics to what they consider to be a “simpler” time, the National Interstate Nostalgia Enthusiasts Endowment (NINEE), has begun focusing on candidates they consider to be compatible with their mission.  Though they are derisively being called “ninnies” by others, NINEE members have embraced this particular insult as a term of endearment.

“We are committed to our mission of creating a better America by embracing the practices of old,” says NINEE President B. N. Seelie.  “There is no reason our nation should allow the continuing degradation of our electorate by diluting the requirements to exercise the franchise.”

Seelie says his group is planning to support candidates who are for a variety of methods to pare down the voter rolls so that those believed to be more informed and intelligent politically are given the exclusive ability to exercise their voting franchise.  According to Seelie, voting was never enshrined in the Constitution as a right and, therefore, the ability to cast a ballot can be limited.

“We are not a democracy,” he insists.  “We aren’t even close to a democracy.  Our Founding Fathers despised the notion of a democracy.  Many, in fact, openly preferred an oligarchic structure to government.”

NINEE’s platform is rather simple and straightforward, despite appearing to be a throwback to a bygone era:

The National Interstate Nostalgia Enthusiasts Endowment is committed to ensuring the purity of the American ideal, and the preservation of the American dream through the limiting of the voting franchise.  It is our mission to eliminate the notion of our nation as a democracy by limiting the ability to vote to all but those with a profound understanding of the importance of voting and those with a legitimate stake in the function of our national and state governments.  Those in possession of real property, those who are informed and intelligent, those who produce genuine goods and services, those who are of the lineage of genuine stakeholders in our nation, and those who create jobs for the masses are true representatives of our overall dream; an America in which the best and brightest have the ultimate say in our national function.  – NINEE Mission Statement

When pressed about the group’s mission statement potentially being racially insensitive and biased towards both minorities and women, Seelie had no comment except “there is no reason we cannot express our opinions.”

While many candidates have distanced themselves from NINEE, the group states that many prominent pundits espouse their views, even if they choose to not associate with the group formally.  “Just because someone doesn’t want to be seen with us in public, doesn’t mean they don’t agree with us in private,” Seelie admitted.

-Satire

One thought on “A new player in the political game

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s