Great (and not so serious) reasons to bring back Florida’s colored highway signs.

It's like skittles, only it tastes like metal instead of fruit flavors!

It’s like skittles, only it tastes like metal instead of fruit flavors!

It’s been over 20 years since Florida’s last “Kodachrome” U.S. highway shield sign was produced.  In that time, the Sunshine State has slowly moved to the standard, black-and-white design that other states mostly use (California, among other states, still retains some classic-looking shields).

That said, here are some great (and serious) reasons for Florida to return to the color-coded U.S. Highway Shields it was once known for:

  • U.S. Highway 1 and U.S. Highway 19 both use the same red/orange (depending on degree of fade) on white design, and they hug opposite ends of the state.
  • U.S. 92 uses a blue on white design and hugs the I-4 corridor, which contains notoriously “blue” areas, politically speaking.
  • U.S. Highway 27, which uses a green on white design, runs through some of the most pristine country in the state, and its sign would make a perfect environmental ad “Keep U.S. 27 Green!”
  • U.S. Highway 90, which uses the same design as U.S. 92, is a great example of ironic roadgeek humor in that runs through some of the “reddest” parts of Florida’s political landscape:  the panhandle, along I-10 to Jacksonville, a major port city and home to Mayport Naval Base.
  • All three of the “brown” signs, highways 129, 221, and 441, are all three digit variants of their two-digit parent highways.
Driving Florida U.S. Highways and finding signs like these are like hitting a bullet, with a smaller bullet, whilst wearing a blindfold, riding a horse!

Driving Florida U.S. Highways and finding signs like these are like hitting a bullet, with a smaller bullet, whilst wearing a blindfold, riding a horse!

And of course, the not so serious…

  • Palm Beach County voters could use color coded highways again!
  • Pasco County residents would have signs for target practice!
  • The Miami Marlins could tie the multicolored signs into marketing promotions for their baseball team, somehow…not quite sure how it would figure.
  • It would make Google Maps go crazy trying to match the highway colors on their website.
  • The Florida General Assembly could get businesses to put up “Sponsored by” signs to generate income (not like they aren’t already used to this sort of business model…Rick Scott?)
  • It would make a great new marketing slogan – “Now even more colorful!”
  • Skittles could do an ad in Florida, and use the signs – taste the rainbow…drive the rainbow?
  • Tourists don’t seem to understand the signs anyway, so why not make it a game and make them lighted – Simon Sez Turn Onto to the Lighting Blue Highway of Mouse Eared Doom.
  • The governor who promises to bring these shields back would win the roadgeek vote, which is critical to victory or, at the very least, reduced risk of roadgeek associated road rage!

If you like this article (and let’s face it, who doesn’t love a good roadgeek blog?), check out my website, www.getinjohnshead.com and my novel, “A 38 Day Education,” available on Amazon.com

When is 1 greater than 5?  When it's a Kodachrome Highway Sign, of course!

When is 1 greater than 5? When it’s a Kodachrome Highway Sign, of course!

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