In honor of the release of “A 38 Day Education,” here is a list of 20 ways you can tell someone went to Georgia Southwestern in the mid-1990s. The novel itself is set at South Central College, a small school based largely on Georgia Southwestern (or “GSW”), in the decade of Bill, Monica and just straight up craziness.
1. When someone asks “Hungry, Man?” You may actually say “yeah, I ate there!”
2. You donate your old furniture to Goodwill to come “full circle.”
3. If you know someone named Pat and he/she asks you back to their place, you immediately think beer and pool tables.
4. You tell someone the Sports Section is where the football scores are, but the Sports Page is where Walmart now is.
5. Giant domed arenas just don’t have the same appeal as a musty, rickety old-school basketball gym.
6. You insist on all your post office boxes being idiotic combination locks not requiring keys.
7. Life just doesn’t feel right if you can get more than three radio stations in clearly at your home.
8. Bradford Pear trees, when in bloom, smell like a taste of paradise instead an awful blast of poop.
9. When you hear about a shooting on campus, you wonder how fast the stupid ass bragged to his friends.
10. You have an innate distrust of government and check to see how many of your council members or county commissioners are former Junior Leaguers.
11. You immediately assume your local newspaper editor is an cocky, arrogant Floridian with a desire to shake things up!
12. When the local high school Homecoming Court is announced, you expect a sit-in.
13. You still expect the local bookstore to mark up used books by 300%.
14. Seeing the words “fire ants” brings back good memories.
15. When you hear the letters “GSW” on a TV medical drama, you get temporarily confused.
16. When you see the Statue of Liberty, you immediately want to recommend an appropriate adult toy to New Yorkers.
17. When you see a speed bump, you think “May The Odds Be Ever In My Favor!”
18. You dream about last-minute, heartbreaking halfcourt shots.
19. You scream bloody murder that your favorite first-run movies aren’t $1.
20. When you heard “A 38 Day Education” was released, you immediately bought a copy to see which character was based on you.