Venting to reclaim self-confidence

I know I’ve written about this already, but it’s worth a reframe.  My life, as of late, has been one big lesson in self pity.  It felt like someone out there has had these puppet strings in their hands, I’ve been a six foot tall marionette.

In short, I’ve been in “life sucks” mode, and now I’m really sick of it.

All my life, I have dealt with the feeling of not being good enough, feeling just a little bit off the axis of the planet.  It has been almost like I can’t seem to jump onboard with everyone else and get the hang of it.  Long sorry short, I’ve been that little beat up Yugo surrounded by Ferraris on the freeway of life.

So what’s different now?  Well for one, I’ve kinda gotten  sick of it.  I deserve better, and please don’t give me that “what makes you so special” crap.  It’s old.  When you look back on your life and see all that you’ve done and realize “shit, piss, and corruption.  You are better than this,” you kinda begin to tighten up your methodology.

This doesn’t mean I’m going to reboot into jerk mode.  Hardly.  What it does mean is that I’m over being looked at as a joke and I’m ready to tell everyone who doubts me where to shove their opinions.  Good grief, man, here’s the damned body of work…

-Adopted a teenager.
-Moved from Ohio to Florida to Georgia.
-Helped resurrect my college newspaper TWICE in twenty years.
-Survived four hurricanes in 40 days.
-Survived the 2014 Atlanta snow mess with nary a scratch.
-Worked through pain caused by a variety of busted joints and limbs.
-Can count a model among my friends.
-Also a minister.
-Wrote not one, not two, but FIVE novels I’m trying to get published.

And last but certainly not least.

-Lost myself, and managed to find said self again.

So, if I’m a little on the self confident, semi arrogant side, I think I earned it this time.  To those who have doubted me through the years and had no qualms about trying to push me down, shove me on the dirt and tell me I’m not good enough, you can kiss my ass because your opinion of me is irrelevant!!!

Put THAT in your pipe and smoke it!

Wow, I actually feel better now.

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