America will celebrate its passion this Sunday when Denver and Seattle do battle on the football field. This being the first-ever cold weather outdoor Super Bowl played in New York, there is a natural curiosity factor involved, and that alone should boost ratings. Still, many will likely opt to tune out after the first quarter unless there is an extremely compelling reason.
While people usually can find a reason to not watch the big game, there are five people who will also make the game completely unwatchable:
Troy Aikman: The former Dallas Cowboys QB has all the personality of a wet mop. In the numerous times I’ve watched him on various broadcasts, he’s always appeared stiff, uninterested, and generally humdrum. That, and he has the near-constant appearance of a man who needs a serious dose of laxative.
Terry Bradshaw: The sad part is that I really do like Bradshaw and his analysis, but the mind’s eye has this nasty habit of associating people with traumatic moments. For me, that happens when I see Bradshaw, and now can’t help but think of his ghastly full-rear-nudity shot in Failure to Launch.
Peyton Manning: Now, this has nothing to do with the fact I love the Cleveland Browns, and that he plays for Denver. From everything I’ve heard and read, the Broncos signal caller is a wonderful man. For me, the reason he makes this list is the fact he actually allowed the Irsay family to win a Lombardi Trophy. Having a childhood affection for the former Baltimore Colts, that was simply unacceptable to me. That is also why I will always hate watching Trent Dilfer, who helped the Art Model go to his grave winning said trophy (finger now down throat).
Erin Andrews: With all due respect to WFLA’s Steve Andrews (Erin’s dad), am I the only person in America who thinks she needs to kick the peeping tom who put her on the media map a percentage of her earnings? I’ve watched her reports and have always found her interview style to be near pandering, bordering on flat-out saccharin. To be fair, I have the same opinion of Jim Rome. Still, Andrews owes her game to her quasi-stalker because she would have been little more than a mid-level journalist with that incident.
Whoever is dumb enough to try sing the National Anthem: This may sound biased as I lived in Tampa during Super Bowl XXV, but the late Whitney Houston set the gold standard for National Anthems with that performance. Her range, combined with the accompaniment of the Florida Orchestra, was the stuff of legends. Many since have tried, and some valiantly, but nobody has even come close.