Tonight, I actually can’t think of anything to write, which is strange. Having been writing for the better part of twenty years, it’s pretty odd when the words just don’t roll off like a basketball from the tips of a power forward. Strangely enough, this seems to be little more than a roundabout way of getting through the malaise of my writers bloc to something way more enjoyable.
Yes, this piece is nonsensical, but so much of this world is, why not write something which is so simultaneously moronic and ambivalent to make Dave Barry blush with envy? The goal, however, is not to create a humorous level of guffaw which could induce choking, but instead to leave you scratching your head wondering “what the hell is this guy on?” The answer is nothing. There is absolutely nothing I am imbibing, injecting, or inhaling which could lead me to write like this.
To bastardize Jessica Rabbit, I’m not confusing, I just write that way.
This piece is intended as a roundabout way of getting through my evening of silliness with a modicum of understanding of just why I can’t get my brain to shift from neutral to first gear. Naturally, my woes stem from a dearth of creativity, which I hope to cure by just allowing whatever rambling musings happen to chemically manifest in my cerebral cortex to be transmitted to my fingers via some bizarre neuro-chemical instant message which I still have yet to figure out.
At this moment, the only things which are going through mind right now are how to prevent myself from laughing hysterically at an episode of The Big Bang Theory, figuring out how to get my novels published and why my cats seem to like to run around with little toys in their mouth. Perhaps what’s all the more astonishing is that the majority of my thinking is arranged towards the latter, as my oldest cat, Bently, appears intent on running around with toy in his mouth and his tail curled in a way to appear non overly dissimilar to a ring-tailed lemur.
Shortly, I intend to go driving, turning on my Ipod, and blaring Sheryl Crow’s “Real Gone” from the movie Cars in my little Hyundai but, strangely enough, my creative lust still has not been aroused.
Funny that…I wonder if they make some sort of pharmaceutical “Creative Enhancement” substance. Oh well, hope springs eternal – especially for those of you sitting there, reading this entry, scratching your heads and asking “WTF????!!!!”