Relationship trouble? Some not-so-common alarm signs

There’s some common misconceptions about relationships when it comes to men.  Speaking from a man’s point of view, we are often chastised for either being too “girly” with our feeling or being chauvinistic.  Women have their own issues to face, so we are both guilty of gender stupidity.

Here are some things to consider when you reach that point in your relationship when you simply have to think about things long and hard:

There’s nothing wrong with declaring defeat and moving on.  Being in a relationship is not a contest of wills, nor should it be.  If you are being a complete douchebag and know it, pause and admit. Take your lumps.  Sometimes swallowing your pride helps your opposite number to realize they have their own skeletons and this enhances the makeup process.  This is also useful if you have to just push the eject button and go single.

Never hang on in a relationship; either commit to improvement or make a decision.  Yes, easier said than done (especially for married couples) but the fact is that “hanging on” in any relationship is akin to a strange game of Hangman:  eventually, you will simply jump through the gallows and surrender.  It’s never worth that.  Both sides must commit to improvement or declare it a lost cause.

So you don’t have everything in common-BFD!  Having a lot in common is great, but having everything is common is like having a high school buddy for a college roommate.  In most cases, it’s q spectacular failure because what you hate most about yourself is reflected in the other person.  Better to be different and find happy accidents you both love than be identical twins.

My friends think…. Stop right there!  When you are at a point where you let your friends opinions about your relationship matter, time to pull up the wood chipper and obliterate that thing!

But he/she’s great in bed.  Holy zombie shit!  If sex is what is keeping your relationship intact, you may as well be using duct tape to fix your flat tire.  Sex only goes so far, and even the most physically gifted person on the planet can’t compensate for an ugly personality that way.  Not happening.

Mommy/Daddy says…gahhhdd!  Shut your piehole and look in the mirror.  Are your folks somehow sewn to your body or have a telepathic link that can’t be jammed?  No?  Then, try thinking for yourself.  If you live close to parental units, move further away.  The best way to stand on your own is to cut the umbilical and stand up, even if it means scraped knees from falling down.

I’m no relationship expert, and I have screwed the pooch in my marriage more than my fair share, but if you learn from my mistakes, then maybe making them was worth it.  I invite your thoughts, as always.

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